You’re looking for me, aren’t you? Well I’m available and I’m waiting for you. I’m the last parking spot left. There are seven other cars circling the lots looking for me too. You’ve seen them; remember that blue Honda that you’ve passed three times now? So you had better hurry.
I know what you’re thinking: you should have gotten up earlier. You’re right, you should have. This search is your punishment for not being a better law student. You knew this would happen. You knew you would be driving up Linda Vista Road at 10:00 AM stressing about finding a parking spot. But being the lazy asshole that you are, you just had to hit the snooze button one more time. Next time just get the fuck up.
The best part is that we go through this every day. Sometimes you think you’ll outsmart everyone by trying to time your arrival so that you can park in the carpool spots, or you’ll wait even longer and try to time it with lunch. Too bad every other law student had that same thought. You guys are in law school for a reason.
So here we are; you’re looking and looking and looking. You’ve been up and down the parking garage, you’ve been to the law school lot, and you’ve even tried to find a parallel spot. Nothing. Now you’re dreading having to go down to the bottom lot and take the tram. You know, if you had just done that originally, you would have been in the library by now. I bet all the good spots in the library are gone too.
I can’t believe you haven’t found me yet. Tick tock, tick tock. It’s been 15 fucking minutes and you still don’t have a spot. If you weren’t so stubborn I would almost feel bad for you. Wait, I see you. You seen me too, don’t you? You’ve driving way too fast for a parking garage! Oh, that blue Honda just came around the other corner. Who’s it going to be… you or the Honda… and the winner is… THE BLUE HONDA!
Go take the tram. Have fun with that.
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